FROM THE EDITOR
Making space for a life worth living
By Kyle Patrick MPA/MSW
Hey gays,
I couldn't picture myself living past fifty.
Iā€™m 43 now. These days, I have a vision of myself living and growing well beyond fifty.
I had finished graduate school. I was fucking exhausted, and another twenty years of the life I was living sounded unbearable. Everything had to change, so I changed it all.
Sobriety and therapy had already changed parts of my life. There were still decisions to make about what I wanted to do with it. I traveled. Love found me on an adventure abroad. I married at forty.
Put that in one paragraph and it sounds like I made a vision board and a husband fell out. The uncertainty rather disappears in the editing.
What stays with me is how much life I couldn't see from where I was standing. I wasn't wishing for this exact future. I couldn't have described it. I just knew I didn't want twenty more years of the same.
Kyle Patrick. Photograph supplied by the editor.
That's the feeling behind this issue: curiosity about what could become possible, including things we haven't learned to want yet.
Making space can mean changing something large. It can also mean noticing where our days have become too narrow for the people and experiences we want in them. A relationship may need a different conversation. A friendship may need an actual afternoon. Something we enjoy may need to happen before we've finished every other fucking thing.
We're meeting here from different parts of the world. I'm as interested in what you're enjoying and building as in what you've had to overcome. A good life can take a shape I haven't imagined.
We spend a lot of time talking about what makes gay life difficult. Those conversations matter. You'll find some here, including a very personal story about what I thought another degree might finally get me. But I also want us talking about the pleasure of being here. The men we find fascinating. The friendships that get better with familiarity. What happens when a person we love surprises us after we thought we had him figured out.
Eduardo and Fabio join us from Buenos Aires, Argentina, with seventeen years to tell us about. Joel brings an excerpt from his memoir, Plane Crazy. Chef Lynn is approaching fifty with creative plans and lobster fondue. I'm glad to share these pages with them.
I've brought research into these pages because recognizing a pattern is useful. So is finding a way through it that leaves us with more of a life.
I hope something here stirs your appetite for life. You might recognize a part of yourself or disagree with me entirely. And if the recipe is what gets you off the couch, I'm certainly not going to argue with melted cheese accomplishing what another inspirational quote couldn't.
We can have unfinished business and a very good evening.
Welcome to Issue 02.
Kyle Patrick MPA/MSW
Savor. Rise. Go Beyond.
Kyle Patrick. Photograph supplied by the editor.
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